Category Archives: Uncategorized

Rewriting the Rules – S Moose

 

Author: S. Moose
Genre: Standalone New Adult/Romance Erotica 
Release Date: March 18, 2016
Cover Artist: Sommer Stein at Perfect Pear Creative Covers
Photographer: Pat Lee 


Off limits. Stay away.
Don’t even think about it.
I know the rules.
I repeat them endlessly in my head.
But damn it, I can’t stay away.
Can’t stop thinking about it. About her.
She’s perfect. Beautiful. Exceptional in every way.
When in the world did she grow up?

No! I refuse to touch her. I won’t do it.
But I did. Just once.
And now. I want more. So much more.
Once I’ve set my mind to something, nobody can stop me.
Not even him. Screw him.
He’s just my best friend.
She’s just his little sister.
Rules are meant to be bent.
Broken. Hell, rewritten.
How bad can it be?

 


S.Moose is a New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author, living in Webster, NY with her family, friends, and shorkie, Charlie.A 2011 St. John Fisher graduate, S.Moose loves to read and write. She enjoys getting lost in the fictional world and creating a place where readers can fall in love and swoon over the cute boys she brings to life. When she isn’t in her room in front of her computer or a book, she is with her family and friends being silly and enjoying life. She’s romantic at heart and loves anything with a happily ever after.

 

 

 



Stone Walls + Glass Ceilings (A True Heroes Novel Series) – A.M. Madden

 
Title: Stone Walls + Glass Ceilings
Series: A True Heroes Novel
Author: A.M. Madden
Genre: Romantic Suspense 
Publisher: Random House/ Loveswept
What happens when a supposedly perfect match is so wrong it’s right? In this roller-coaster novel of destiny and desire from A. M. Madden, a red-hot cop and a broken beauty are linked by painful pasts . . . and one tempting future.


As an NYPD officer, Benjamin Stone is married to his job, determined to clean up the drug-infested streets. His partner, Rob, always has his back—except when Rob and his girlfriend, Andrea, play matchmaker at his expense. On Ben’s birthday, they’re at it again. Andrea’s friend is exactly Ben’s type, even if he stubbornly will never admit it. But it’s not the lithe brunette’s looks that intrigues Ben; it’s the hurt in her eyes.

Ella Parker is bright, beautiful, kind—and, thanks to one horrific night, severely damaged. She’d rather be training for her black belt or watching TV in her favorite pair of pajamas than be dragged out on a blind date. Sure enough, Ben swaggers into the club, locks onto Ella, and claims he’s not interested—despite the irresistible chemistry between them. So Ella decides two can play at that game. But when her dangerous past comes back to haunt her, Ben will break all the rules of seduction to keep her safe.

 


When a perfect new love is shattered, two hearts will do anything to pick up the pieces. In this sizzling novel from the author of Stone Walls, irresistible heat leads to sensual thrills—and a secret that changes everything.


Two years ago, Nick Farley was undercover as a bartender in Chicago. The tough-as-steel FBI agent was working all the angles to build a case against a local crime syndicate, but even his intense focus was no match for the sight of Angela Cavallo’s plump pink lips pulling on her drink. All Nick got was one night—the longest, hottest, sweetest night of his life. It could have been the beginning of something real. But instead, she’d walked away—and Nick had watched her go.

Angela has made some mistakes in her life, but Nick wasn’t one of them. Nor was the baby boy he doesn’t know about. But Angela has been running from a stalker for so long that she’s forgotten how to feel safe. So when Nick suddenly reappears in her life, Angela faces a moment of truth. She wants to trust him and reveal her secrets—her life and that of their son may depend on it—but first she needs to know that Nick can handle her past, and promise her the one thing she most craves: a future together.

RELEASE DATE: MAY 24, 2016

Amazon Best Selling Author, A.M. Madden is a wife, a mother, an avid reader of romance novels, and now an author.

“It’s all about the HEA.”

A.M. Madden’s debut novel was Back-up, the first in The Back-Up Series. In Back-Up, A.M.’s main character Jack Lair caused readers to swoon. They call themselves #LairLovers, and have been faithful supporters to Jack, as well to the rest of his band, Devil’s Lair.

A.M.’s stories are heartfelt, realistic romances. A.M. believes that true love knows no bounds. In her books, she aspires to create fun, sexy, realistic romance that will stay with you after the last page has been turned. She strives to create characters that the reader can relate to and feel as if they knew them personally.

A self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, she loves getting lost in a good book. She also uses every free moment of her time writing, while spending quality time with her three handsome men. She loves the beach, loves to laugh, and loves the idea of love.

A.M. Madden, Independent Romance Author.
www.ammadden.com
Copyright © A.M. Madden, Author, All rights reserved.

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Unholy Alliance – Reily Garrett

 

 

Title: Unholy Alliance

Series: Immortal Loves #1

Author: Reily Garrett

Genre: Paranormal, Romantic Suspense

Release Date: February 15, 2016

 

Blurb

 

Can fated love poised between the illusion of immortality and the certainty of death find new life between hope and adversity?

 

In securing a relic destined to destroy humanity, Lukas is mortally bitten by a unique breed of demon. Before he succumbs to his fate, a stranger offers her blood, allowing him time to complete his mission.

 

Sariel has spent most of her life destroying demons and vampires alike. With a witch as mentor and a ghost for companionship, she’s always had everything she’s needed, or so she thought until three demons cross her path, noting her angelic origins and changing her entire worldview.

 

As the prophecy unfolds, the vampire, angel, and witch must join forces to face demonic powers never experienced while navigating the murky waters of desire and betrayal, paranormal talents and malevolent cunning.

 

 

Purchase Links

 

AMAZON LINKS TO BE ADDED

 

 

Excerpt

 

Despite Lukas’ studies and commitment to humanity’s protection, a void had rooted in the darkest corners of his mind. Each rising, it surfaced to extort any novelty or anticipation in his automated reality. Duty had always come first, after which he studied whatever snared his attention at the time. Still, he hungered for more–something to chase away the shadows and blisters cauterizing his soul.

 

Centuries of experience honed him into an expert assassin and tracker for evil’s myriad and divergent forms. Yet each kill left a new stain on his spirit that darkened his aura and took him further from the light of man. Since defeat had never left its toxic breath in his extended history, this mission would prove one more in a long series of significant encounters.

 

Minutes later, the scent of demon filled his nostrils. Descending to skim the void above the treetops rewarded him with a stronger stench. Whether this demon held the precious artifact or proved another dead end didn’t matter. Its removal fell among his duties as an ancient vampire and benefactor to humans, a win-win situation in the grand scheme of things.

 

Dark hues of maroon and purple bruised the evening sky. The sunset’s colorful merging with the distant horizon lent him barbarous satisfaction. Those same colors would soon spill from this prick’s skull. Its gray matter, if demons possessed such a thing, would pour to the ground, obliterating all vegetation in its path. At least the creature couldn’t wreak havoc on society until his master resurrected and sent it back. Fortunately, that took time.

 

“Demon, face me. What do you have to lose? You know I can’t kill you…Perhaps facing your boss, defeated, frightens you?” Rare was the demon that could resist a taunt. The thunder in Lukas’ voice scattered a small herd of deer grazing beside the fast-moving river nearby. A meticulous search below yielded no visual of anything in demonic form.

 

The hunter in him was determined and ready to finish this task and knew the evil nearby would sense his presence. Why can’t I get a lock on its position?

 

Shadows lengthened and crawled over the earth below, denoting rise and shine for the creatures of the night while daylight critters scurried to find comfort and cover in the obscure niches of darkness. In counterpoint, the soothing sounds of the nocturnal forest punctuated by the lonely call of a wolf reminded him of his goal.

 

With a slight shift of the wind, he sensed movement in the forest below. Off to his right and just ahead, the demon’s obvious attempt at a stealthy passage failed to camouflage the swish and slap of branches flung back in its wake.

 

“Ugh. I don’t fear you, vampire. However, I do fear my master if I fail to deliver this objet d’art.” Like most of its kind, the harsh guttural voice grated Lukas’ nerves.

 

Altering his course delivered a stronger hellish stench, searing a path to his nostrils as the repetitive crunch of dead leaves and snapping twigs guided him. Maybe the assignment would end this night, allowing him to revisit and re-evaluate his current path in life.

 

Now, with no apparent concern over the noise made or the swath it cut, the fleeing pestilence would’ve attracted the youngest of vampires with the snapping and shuddering of branches even without its odor and aura.

 

“You’re kidding me, a demon with intelligence? Your boss educates you clowns now?” Dropping through the web of interlocking limbs, Lukas used his telekinesis to clear a path, providing a fleeting visual of his prey. The clicking and swishing of branches and leaves muted the demon’s heavy grunts.

 

Damn shame my psychic talents don’t work on these deviants. He hit the ground running, his adversary near.

 

“You’d be surprised, bloodsucker. You’d be surprised. Once upon a time, I attended an ivy-league school. Why do you think master chose me to find and return this treasure?”

 

Broken and bowed branches whipped back along the path to provide a stroboscopic view. A second passed, then another, followed by the sounds of accelerated movement and the demon’s occasional growl punctuating its hoarse breathing.

 

“Huh, and now you’re just a flunky. Is that where you became a demon?” A burst of speed increased the terminal case of sulfuric fetor blazing a trail through Lukas’ senses but yielded more frequent flashes of his objective. Footprint-sized patches of wilting vegetation betrayed the demon’s exact steps. Few living things could survive evil’s deadly contact.

 

Large exposed roots and mid-size saplings necessitated agile footwork at breakneck speed to avoid losing ground. Skirting these obstacles with flight would drain even an ancient vampire’s energy reserves. He’d need them all to fight a demon possessing such unusual speed.

 

A steep incline presented more slags and escarpments to negotiate, some snagging his leather vest in passing. Vaulting over the next two outcroppings demanded even more of his strength.

 

He didn’t break stride.

 

“If you have no fear, why run away like a schoolgirl?”

 

Budding underbrush foiled a good visual, though this thing’s odor and noise rivaled that of a trumpeting elephant. He’d never tracked such a swift and agile creature. With practiced ease, he gripped the pommel of his Falchion. The slide from its fur-lined scabbard muffled the blade’s draw even as the material kept the steel oiled.

 

“Ah … just want you to have a clear view of approaching death.” The demon’s chuckle boded ill.

 

A moment of uncertainty flashed in his mind when the crashing noise ahead stopped. Thinning trees gave way to tall grasses on the rock-strewn promontory, reminiscent of a shelf tucked in the side of the mountain.

 

 

Silvery moonlight gilded a small open plain as he left the forest behind, the sudden rush of air focusing his thoughts. Why would a demon give me the advantage of open ground?

 

 

Author Bio

 

 

Reily’s work as an ICU nurse, private investigator, and work in the military police has given her countless experiences in a host of different environments to add a real world feel to her fiction.

 

Though her kids are her life, writing is Reily’s life after. The one enjoyed…after the kids are in bed or after they’re in school and the house is quiet. This is the time to kick back with laptop and lapdog to give your imagination free reign.

 

In life, hobbies can come and go according to our physical abilities, but you can always enjoy a good book. Life isn’t perfect, but our imaginations can be. Relax, whether it’s in front of a fire or in your own personal dungeon. Take pleasure in a mental pause as you root for your favorite hero/heroine and bask in their accomplishments, then share your opinions of them over a coffee with your best friend (even if he’s four legged). Life is short, cherish your time.

 

Author Links

 

 

Giveaway

 

Wherever it Leads – Adriana Locke

 

 

Title: Wherever It Leads
Author: Adriana Locke
Genre: Contemporary Romance
 Release Date: February 15, 2016

 

Blurb

 

Smooth. Sexy. Irresistible.

Those qualities equal only one thing.Big. Freaking. Trouble. 

Brynne Calloway knows that anything that seems too good to be true usually is. Fenton Abbott and his cashmere voice, Adonis body, and a magnetism like no other clearly falls into that category. But what’s life without a little risk?

It was supposed to be a rebound, an uncomplicated escape from reality. But nothing ever goes as planned. Fenton turns out to be so much more … in ways Brynne never sees coming.

Purchase Links
AMAZON LINKS TO BE ADDED
Excerpt

 

The plane begins its ascent, the engines roaring to life. Fenton whips out a file from his briefcase and gives it a once-over. Again, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do and it’s killing me.I pull my Kindle out of my bag and try to become invested in a second-chance romance about a rock star, but it’s nearly impossible sitting next to him. Each time I become engrossed in the words, he moves and my senses are assaulted by his proximity. The third time this happens, I search the ebook for ‘cock’ and start reading a sex scene. I need some form of undoing and if that has to be done via fictional character, so be it.

The heroine is taking the hero into her mouth when a low rumble radiates beside me. Startled, I look up and see Fenton smirking.

“What?” I push the power button on my e-reader and place it on my lap. I realize the jet has leveled off and it’s quiet in the cabin. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Just wondering what you’re reading.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he says, his eyes darkening, “your entire posture changed. Your lips parted, your breathing became labored. I’m intrigued.”

“I don’t think you’d be interested in this.”

“Trust me—if it gets that kind of reaction out of you, I’m definitely interested.”

Dragging in a lungful of air, I remember Presley’s pep talk and decide I have nothing to lose.

I switch on the tablet and find the page. “She drew his cock into her mouth, stroking his shaft as she licked a pool of semen from the tip.” I glance over my shoulder and his eyes are wide. I wink. “A growl escaped his throat as she stroked his velvety length, running her tongue—”

“Enough.” He snatches the Kindle from my grasp and places it on his briefcase. “Fucking hell, Brynne. Do you want fucked right here?”

 

 

Author Bio

 

USA Today Bestselling author Adriana Locke lives and breathes books. After years of slightly obsessive relationships with the flawed bad boys created by other authors, Adriana has created her own.

She resides in the Midwest with her husband, sons, and two dogs. She spends a large amount of time playing with her kids, drinking coffee, and cooking. You can find her outside if the weather’s nice and there’s always a piece of candy in her pocket.

Author Links

Rewriting the Rules – S Moose

Author: S. Moose
Genre: Standalone New Adult/Romance Erotica 
Release Date: March 18, 2016
Cover Artist: Sommer Stein at Perfect Pear Creative Covers
Photographer: Pat Lee

Off limits. Stay away.
Don’t even think about it.
I know the rules.
I repeat them endlessly in my head.
But damn it, I can’t stay away.
Can’t stop thinking about it. About her.
She’s perfect. Beautiful. Exceptional in every way.
When in the world did she grow up?

No! I refuse to touch her. I won’t do it.
But I did. Just once.
And now. I want more. So much more.
Once I’ve set my mind to something, nobody can stop me.
Not even him. Screw him.
He’s just my best friend.
She’s just his little sister.
Rules are meant to be bent.
Broken. Hell, rewritten.
How bad can it be?
 

S.Moose is a New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author, living in Webster, NY with her family, friends, and shorkie, Charlie.

A 2011 St. John Fisher graduate, S.Moose loves to read and write. She enjoys getting lost in the fictional world and creating a place where readers can fall in love and swoon over the cute boys she brings to life. When she isn’t in her room in front of her computer or a book, she is with her family and friends being silly and enjoying life. She’s romantic at heart and loves anything with a happily ever after.


Just a Number – Fifi Flowers

FifiReveal

Releases: March 14th, 2016

Author: Fifi Flowers

Cover Design by: Book Cover By Design

Contemporary Romance

Standalone

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synopsis

Not looking for love.

No details.

Follow rules and restrictions.

Only fun. No feelings.

Forever–not an option.

Simple Flings.

They were all just a number.

Dash Oliver and Willow Dane both shared the same philosophy.

That is, until a merger of sorts.

Thrown together by fate or serendipity, was their connection… their chemistry… their compatibility enough to convince them that their rules were made to be broken and that they belonged together?

This standalone book contains sexually explicit material and is intended for adult readers only.

If you would like to read and review Just A Number please fill out this form: https://goo.gl/y5S2Vb

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zzFifipicWhile daydreaming of her time spent sipping cafe crème in the cafes of Paris, Fifi Flowers, an internationally known artist turn author from the Los Angeles area of California, writes romance novels and paints fantasies with a Parisian flair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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GoodReads Link: https://goo.gl/RQDL0r

Amazon Author Page Link: http://goo.gl/AT4do4

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Website: http://www.fififlowers.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FifiFlowers @FifiFlowers

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Other books available by Author Fifi Flowers:

Awakening to You…Trilogy: http://amzn.to/1nW0kQi

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A Window to Love: http://amzn.to/1SeiZ6V

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Reclining Nude in Chicago: http://amzn.to/1SeslzD

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At That Moment – Scarlett Hartgrove

 Title: At That Moment
Series: The Eyes of March #1
Author: Scarlett Hartgrove
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: March 2016

 

Cara Mears has a good life…simple, satisfying, and safe. 

 


 

She owns a successful company, has loyal friends, and a decent relationship, and has convinced herself that this is enough.
This is a life she knows how to navigate.
Enter Dylan Madigan, her long-time movie-star crush, devastatingly handsome, arrogant, and famous.
At that moment, everything changes.
Their seductive and romantic journey begins, exposing their vulnerabilities, testing their resolve, and leaving them emotionally naked.
The bigger-than-life movie star turns Cara’s life inside out and upside down, but is it for the better?
What happens when dreams actually become reality?
Dylan was waiting for the perfect song with just the right tempo so he wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of this stunning woman he wanted to hold in his arms. He recognized it right away when the first few notes of “A Song For You” began to play.

 

He held up his hand with an apologetic look at Peter, took a sip from his water goblet, then sat it down on a nearby table. He stepped toward Cara, extending his right hand, and asked “Cara, will you dance with me?” 

 

Cara’s heart exploded in her chest as she managed to nod in response. She met his eyes with a smile as she laid her hand in his, and followed him to the dance floor, her knees trembling, her heart pounding.

 

When they reached the dance floor, Dylan turned to face her. As she stepped toward him, he slipped his right arm around her and took her hand in his. He navigated the crowded floor until he found a spot, and met her eyes, flashing his deadly smile. He began to move in time with the music, leading her firmly with his hand on the small of her back, leaving a respectable distance between them. 

 

Cara’s eyes were locked on his beautiful face as he looked down at her. She was surprised to find that he was, in fact, a good dancer, very much in control, leading strongly. Cara let herself move with him, the nervousness inside her calming a bit as she concentrated on their movements. She felt like Cinderella dancing with her prince! 

 

She was aware that Dylan was making an effort to maintain the space between them. “Screw the respectable distance,” she thought. She wanted him to hold her close…so close she could feel his heart beat. She heard Melanie’s and Suzanne’s voices in her head saying, “Just do it! Make your move!”

 

Dizzying thoughts swirled through her brain as she dared herself to make the move. When the soulful, sensual saxophone solo began, Cara drew in a breath, squeezed Dylan’s hand slightly, and stepped forward, closing the distance between them. She held her breath for a second, waiting for his reaction, then let it out slowly when he took her right hand and laid it on his chest, covering it with his. At the same time, he tightened his arm around her back, pulling her closer to him. Her left hand made its way from his shoulder to the back of his neck, and she threw caution to the wind, settling her face into the crook of his neck and inhaling his delicious scent, making a conscious effort to commit this moment…this exact moment…to her memory forever. 

 

Dylan had wanted to dance with her so they could have a few minutes to talk. But when she’d stepped forward, closing the distance between them, he found himself unable to speak. She felt so good in his arms. The light, exotic scent of her perfume, the warmth of her body against his, and the softness of her skin rendered him speechless. He pulled her closer, losing himself in the pleasure of the moment.

 

Cara closed her eyes, feeling absolutely drunk with the moment. She was being held tightly in his arms, moving slowly to the music, cheek to cheek. She felt the slight stubble of his beard, and had to will herself to breathe. Was this heaven? It had to be! She could hear the music, but once again, she and Dylan were the only two people in the room. Then before she knew it, the song was over.

 

She wanted to cry!

 

Reluctantly stepping back from him, Cara had a difficult time focusing her eyes when she looked up at his handsome face. The orchestra rolled into the next song, “It Had to Be You.” Dylan raised an eyebrow at her with the unspoken question, and she stepped back into his arms. His arms embraced her, and she settled into the spot where she now wanted to spend the rest of her life. 

 

She leaned back slightly to look at him, face to face. She wanted to touch his beautiful face, wrap her arms around his neck…but instead, as he pulled her close, she let her cheek once again rest against his. As he leaned into her, Cara let out an involuntary sigh. Suddenly, she felt his warm lips touch her bare shoulder at the base of neck with a soft kiss, sending a lightning bolt all the way down her body to the floor. He moved his face close to hers, and she could feel his soft breath on her ear as they slowly moved to the music, bodies touching. She closed her eyes and lost herself in her fantasy coming true. She was dancing with the mad handsome Dylan Madigan! 

 

And then it was over. 

 

As the orchestra began the next song, Dylan led Cara from the dance floor with a firm, warm grip on her hand. It took all of her concentration not to stumble into his back as they walked around the tables and finally reached their group at the back of the room.
I am a southern woman, born and bred.
I love the beach, cooking, gardening, sweet tea, cats, good books, music, and warm, sunny weather.
Growing up as a child of blind parents gave me a unique perspective of life. Watching my parents struggle to overcome adversity in order to provide a normal life for me and my brother, I learned the meaning of tenacity, self-reliance, independence, grace, and the true importance of family. 
I am a glass-half-full-girl to my very core.
As a young girl, I kept a diary, which led to the habit of keeping a journal and writing short stories. I’ve spent my life writing in my head.
I’ve always had an open book nearby, soaking up the adventures that transport me from my daily life to exotic, exciting locations around the world.
Someday, if someone remembers me as a kind, compassionate, and strong person, I will have lived the life I always wanted.
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Twisted Eventide – Snow Covered Moon

l.m. adams - Snow Covered Moon Cover (updated)

Book Synopsis:
I am Jaevia Knightley, Jae for short, a daemon, a mutt, a mix breed, half succubus, half vampire. I once was part of a great organization, the Kindred, our only charge, to police the other supernaturals of the worlds. The Kindred and I came to a crossroads so to speak and I decided to not be one anymore, only problem? Well you really can’t stop being Kindred, it’s a lifetime thing. I’ve escaped to the human world and now hide as a proud citizen of Baltimore, Maryland, always with fear that the Kindred will send Reapers after me. So when they send their very best bringer of death you can imagine my surprise when instead of ending up rotting in the dirt I end up becoming a Grigori, a watcher, charged with being the eyes, ears and hands for the Kindred. I don’t know why I’ve been given this chance only that messing this up will drag myself and everyone I’ve ever cared for down with me.

My first case, missing werewolf carriers, the Batardi the bastard children of supernaturals they carry the DNA sequence of their supernatural parent but aren’t supernaturals themselves. So many have gone missing, even the Kindred want to know why. Failing to solve this case is not an option not for the missing wolf carriers or for me.

*Book contains violence, graphic sexual scenes, horror, BDSM and other adult situations*
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Amazon Link:

http://amzn.to/1TXbpgz
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Author Bio:
Lark Adams is the dark urban fantasy author of the Twisted Eventide series, first novel titled Snow Covered Moon. Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, Lark received two Associates degrees one in computer aided drafting and another in mechanical engineering. But her true passion and love has always been for the written word.

She’s currently working on her seventh novel, the first in the Sin Eater series – Fall of the Faithful. When not writing or designing mechanical systems she enjoys reading a good novel, drinking a good cup of coffee and letting the words on the page take her to new exciting places.

She can be reached at L.M.Adams@twistedeventide.com as well as on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/twistedeventide

 

Is This Desire? – R. Paone

Title: Is This Desire?
Series: Only If Series #2
Author: R. Paone
Genre: M/M Contemporary Romance
Released: February 29, 2016
The continuing saga of the “Only If” Series.

He said, “Never stop.”
I said, “Never will.”

Devastated by the realization of Mitch’s misgivings, Robert has cast himself aside unable to process his current reality. Exposed to a love that is debilitating but also rewarding, he must now face the consequences of secrets, addiction, and desire if he is to continue forward with his heart and disregard his doubts.

Sooner or later, Mitch reappears in Robert’s life unable to break away from what he feels deep within as he questions the bond between them both. It is a domineering bond that could break at any moment by the forces meaning to keep them apart no matter what. 

“Is This Desire?” documents the continuing story of a flourishing love as it grows at an increasing speed. As Robert faces Mitch’s demons, Mitch himself must reclaim his independence and sanity if they are ever to be together.

Phil said he would grab the coffees for us himself.
The summer weather had subsided and we were finally headed right into the milder months. The coffee would work wonders. I would feel relaxed and revived at the same time and not have to worry about it. The air outside coming in was finally manageable as the summer was in its’ final throws. I could start leaving the windows open, I could take out the air conditioner, not have to throw the cover off or attempt to tear my underwear off in the middle of the night. I could now sleep full clothed with the fluffy duvet yanked over my head and not wake up feeling sweaty. The sun wasn’t coming out as early as it had when I moved into my place a couple months ago. Then I didn’t have to set my alarm; one hint of sun through the black but somewhat sheer curtains would snap me out of whatever cycle of sleep I was in. Now I was lucky if I could get up at nine which I thought would be too late to get anything done especially given my schedule. Timing was important, everything that happened to me in this span of time has shaped me for better or worst. A lot of the time I tried to not think about certain things that had no relevance today especially since they weren’t part of my life anymore. I wouldn’t bring them up certainly not. I thought about the last semester and what went on trying to close my eyes and hold my breath remembering every single moment and emotion I have felt up to this moment. The last two months that have gone by have been harder than the first two. I have ignored or tried to avoid the relevance of the situation. What the worth of these feelings I was putting myself through? I was torturing what I was capable of in terms of how far I would go in the pursuit of obtaining what I wanted. In this case it was companionship; it was love. The concept of love and the ideal of happiness that I expected to follow suit with these qualities. Nativity was a personality trait that wouldn’t go unnoticed but I couldn’t avoid feeling overwhelmed by it. I put myself through enough when I was in deep with Mitch. Phil told me not to worry about any of it, the feelings that I couldn’t get past. There was that low hanging sense of abandonment I felt but was I truly abandoned or just forgotten? I couldn’t allow myself to contemplate what he could be or not be doing at this moment. That wouldn’t be fair to myself. Those things were out of my control right now but I couldn’t help it. Having the idea that anyone else in my shoes going through this brought a sense of comfort but only to be dashed when I realized it was silly and just a facade. 
I haven’t heard from Mitch, not one word in those two months which felt like an eternity, a vast plain of time that had passed making our relationship fade away. The moment I ran out after catching him with Deb’s roommate, Janet, I swore that this was it and that there would be no more bullshit. No looking back. I didn’t expect Mitch to run after me witnessing that catastrophe and threw a couple gears into what was going on. The poor, stupid fool couldn’t make up his mind and whether or not he knew what he wanted whether it was being with me or was it being with a woman. There was no way of knowing for sure because I knew that every time I started to analyze every small minuet detail, I started to obsess over it and it became overwhelming. I could only read into what I know and what I experienced hands on, what I saw in my eyes. For now the important thing would be to attempt to focus on how I would be able to get over him, to forget. Forgetting the moments and the hours he gave me made my head hurt but I had to look into the future ahead.

R.Paone started on this writing journey in June, 2014. From events that were beyond his control, he decided to start this new path in his life before my 30th birthday. It has been quite the journey mapping out this story arc. He has learned so much writing a novel in that it has been therapeutic and also eye opening as it evolves. He hopes everyone will enjoy what is to come from the “ONLY IF” series as I want this to be something anyone could reach for and say “that could happen to me.” Stay tuned! Three fun facts about him is: he live in NYC, has a vast horror movie collection and has a great appreciation for Enya.
 


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