Pirate Doug
What in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking to agree to this half arsed Otherworld Defense Agency mission?
I’m the most absurdly good looking Vampire Pirate of the High Seas. Being on the run for my life is very important work… and a freaking full time job. Defending Mermaids from some vicious Sea Hags is going to cut into my pilfering time.
Unacceptable.
Even though this is a very bad move on my part, I know I’ll eventually agree—too many bounties on my arse to refuse, and the thought of a certain Mermaid makes my roger quite jolly.
However, Tallulah, the leader of the Mystical Isle Pod of Mermaids, isn’t going to be happy to see me… at all. The horrible, sexy, breathtaking woman has been starring in my dreams for too many years to count. Sadly, just when my mind wanders to the really good nookie part, the dream ends with her lopping my Johnson off.
I just hope to Hell and back that the Sea Hags have some outstanding booty to steal. If I’m going to have to regrow my tallywhacker, the treasure had better damned well be worth it.
Tallulah
Running a tourist trap for humans in the Bermuda Triangle had sounded like a fine plan—until it wasn’t. With the Sea Hags gunning for our island and ruining our questionably successful business, I did what any desperate Mermaid would do. I called for backup.
Of course, getting help from the Otherworld Defense Agency is risky as they don’t usually deal with ocean creatures. Whatever. Desperate times call for crappy measures. Chances are they’ll send freaking Pirates. I hate Pirates…
Well, I hate one Pirate in particular.
Hopefully, it won’t be the one seafaring jackhole I despise more than any other. Pirate Doug would be an idiot to show his face here after what he’d done. Not only did the dumbass abscond with our treasure, the son-of-a-bitch took my heart with him as well.
I’ll tear his sorry ass to shreds if he so much as steps even one hairy toe on my island.
ebook
audio
Review by Twinsie Angie
I purchased this audio book.
I queued up my audio books and I HAD NOTHING!! *GASP* I started scrolling through a list of attending authors from Writers on the River Author Event. It’s been AGES since I read anything from Robyn annnd I remember them being hysterical. The audio price was $2 and I grabbed it. 2 hours of laughs…yes please.
This book starts with Pirate Doug. His accent and stupidity…hello word of the day incorrectly used…had me chuckling a lot. Then to find out his has been assigned to help Tallulah and her mermaid friends from some Seahags. Again, I cracked up. When Doug…excuse me PIRATE Doug begins to tell his history with Tallulah……I knew this was just what I needed. I mean she was going to cut ff his *Wink* Jolly Roger. I can’t stop giggling as I type this.
The story is an absolute over the top, hysterical rescue of Tallulah and her friends. Uhm Ariel might have been my favorite but whatever. LOL I seriously will be grabbing the other stories and listening when I just need some stupid funny in my day.
Robyn writes because the people inside her head won’t leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. Her addictions include shoes (the expensive kind), Coke with extra ice in a styrofoam cup, and bejeweled reading glasses.
A former professional actress, she now lives in the south with her family and too many animals to count. Writing gives her a chance to have a job where working in her P.J.’s is acceptable.
You can follow Robyn at http://www.robynpeterman.com and at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Robyn-P….